No Apology Needed

I have made some interesting observations and have faced some personal truths in the last few days.
I think it finally hit me tonight that really - as Americans - we are not 'liked' very much around the globe, and that includes Canada. We had an unfortunate accident at my place of work tonight - and of course, as these situations warrant - everyone speaks of the incident and will they sue. Someone says ' Well, thank god he wasn't an American because then you know he would sue.' I spoke up this time I said ' What a minute, I'm American and that's not true." This individual said 'Well its what we see on the news I guess.' I can't be angry at them for saying it, - because they were right. How can I fault them for bad information.
I can't tell you how many times I have heard cutting remarks about Americans in the last few months. For awhile, I sat back, stunned frankly, and didn't say anything. But now I do.... I speak up. But, it still leaves me to ponder a few things.

I still don't get the connection between the negativity towards Americans to the never ending drive for people, including a lot of Canadians, who want to live in our country. To me, if you can't speak good about it, then hey, don't come to the country. I don't mean this in a negative way - just matter of fact.
Its OK to not to like America - even if what you think you may know is the truth is not.  I know the truth.
But, the sad reality is, what the media puts out there, the world sees. And frankly, in the world of 'news' (and I use this term lightly) it is more about sensationalism then it is about truth anymore. As a whole, we have done ourselves a lot of damage. Because just like a bad rumor at school - everyone likes to hear the bad stuff, no one commends the good.

I have learned a lot about inner strength in this journey and I think, as I will look back on this experience I will appreciate it, for what it has shown me. However, that doesn't make the cutting comments hurt less and it doesn't take away the childish need to 'one up' somebody. But, it does make me appreciate two things.

One: I will always understand, even to some scales it is still minuscule, prejudice. Because, even though its not pretty - its the truth. Its exactly what I am going through.  I stated before that Canada is far more diverse, and it is. However, prejudice exists here... towards many things, and yes to Americans.  Sad, but true.

Two:  I have a deeper appreciation and love for my country now and I am looking forward to coming home.  I have turned away from politics in the last few years, because frankly, I can't stomach it.  But, I wish for everyone that is out there, that trashes our government and its policies etc. needs to live in another country.
Because, when you do, you realize... we do have our faults, and we have and are making mistakes. But in the end what we have as a country and what we are/have built is amazing!!  All of those immigrants that you see on the news or talk to, who love living in our country. Their joy is true and honest. Because they have lived a very different life. We can throw around a lot of different adjectives and outcry's, but I now get it. They appreciate the gifts they have been offered.

Along those lines, I also wish for those in our country who spend there day bashing one another through politics and religion, that they learn more understanding and less judgement.  As an American - here in Canada - I am the one being bashed and judged and frankly, it sucks. Somehow, when the fathers of our country fought for our freedom, I am sure they did not envision the likes of FOX news and CNN being the voice of America. As the father of any religion, never imagined the judgement placed on others through the use of their names. For this, as Americans, we really should try to change.

So, here's what we do - The Ellis'. We are ourselves and we proudly tell people where we are from. We are taking the time to get to know our temporary home and respect it. We really like the people who have taken the time to get to know us - without judgement. We appreciate the differences between the two countries and will honor those differences. But, in the end, we will always be American, and we will not apologize for that. Not, in an egotistical manner - but in the manner of  respect and pride. Hopefully when we make our journey back to the states there will be someone here - who we have impacted - who will be one less person that will judge Americans, because they took the time, to get to know the people and not the assumption.
If that is the case- then indeed what a great journey this will have been.

You Did What??

What a great day I had yesterday!  Among other things, I had my picture taken. Now, you're sitting there saying 'OK? So what?' Well there is a bigger story here so, let me indulge myself and share it.

I have always been someone who knew inside their own self that there was more to do....more to be. Now, this isn't to say that I have always been in tuned with this, or even for some periods listened or gave a damn. But, there has always been a lingering knowledge that, 'Yes, kiddo there is more.' Hence, the love of my previous blog - Risk. I was deathly afraid to take risks a few years ago... meaning I was in a state where I was working very hard to control things, only to one day realize I truly had ( or really have) no control of life's events. What I decided I needed to do, was to  find a way to a better  'me' in this world.

For those of you who know me - you see now, what I wasn't able to be for many years and that means comfortable in my own skin. I am known for my laugh - for the most part, people love it. It does catch people off guard - because it is a true opening to me. You know I am enjoying something, because I don't hold that back. One of my dearest friends calls me and says ' I gotta hear your laugh....listen to this.'  I am also known for accepting things "as they are". When I am talking to friends and they are going through something I am famous for saying "So, how can you change this? What do you have control over here?"  So, sometimes we have to laugh and accept things as they are - including ourselves.

Now, lets not be mistaken here - I don't live a Yen type of existence. I am still very much a 'Growth in Progress.' One of my biggest growth days - my 40th Birthday. I wasn't sure about turning 40... had been mulling that around a while before the big day. But I woke up on that day, and I KNEW that I was different, would be from now on. Most ladies ( because frankly I have haven't talked to many men about it) know what I mean. All of a sudden, all this crap we carry around no longer matters. We can like how we look, find ways to be our true selves with a sense of 'Take it, Or leave it.' And I cannot tell you enough how truly cool this is. So I have been in this frame for 3 years now and I have been working on this. But, one thing I couldn't quite get over was getting my picture taken. HATEed it!!  Was not a fan. I avoided it. Until yesterday.

I decided a few weeks ago that I was sick of being afraid of this and I started the hunt for a photographer. I found one here is Airdrie - Amber Holt of Amber Holt Photography. I shot her out an email and asked if we could meet - I wanted my picture taken and wanted to meet to see if we fit.  There was no way I was putting this event into the hands of someone I didn't like.  So, we met, and I liked her right away. I was honest, and told her my purpose. This is a rite of passage...she smiled and said many women have come to her with this idea and she was game. 'Outdoor or Indoor' seemed to the biggest question.  I wanted funky, 'artsy' so outside we would go.

Well after prepping myself for a few hours at home - I picked outfits that I liked, did my my hair etc., ...left all pretension at home  and went off to pick up Amber. We ended up in Inglewood - an area around downtown Calgary. Funky, cool buildings with wild colors, and textures. I was her muse and gave her permission to do as she saw fit... we had a great time. I was changing in the back of the car - moving from location to location and following her lead. Now, I have no clue what she saw on the other side of the lens yet - but all I know is that I felt...well for simplicity sake, beautiful and fun. I felt really myself in that moment. It was great. Amber treated this event really as a 'non event.' There was no agenda...no stress. Which I have to High Five her on... because in that, I became comfortable.

I would encourage any of you out there to do this - just for you.  No kids, pets, partners nothing. Just you....its a truly great experience. Its a great way to look at your vulnerabilities and accept a little bit more about yourself.

I am a firm believer in 'No Coincidence.' We are walking through this life of ours with a purpose and we meet who we are supposed to meet, and go through what we are supposed to go through. Good and bad. Its how you take the introduction to these people and events. How we grow.... that matters. I just finished a fantastic book Eat, Love, Pray, by Elizabeth Gilbert. In chapter 108 Elizabeth Gilbert talks about her evolution. She equates it to the Zen aspect of "the oak tree that creates the very acorn that is comes from which is is born." On page 330 she says 'The younger me was the acorn full of potential, but it was the older me, the already -existing oak, who was saying the whole time;"Yes, grow! Change! Evolve! Come and meet me here, where I already exists in wholeness and maturity! I need you to grow into me!'

Now isn't that great that I read that today? After my big adventure yesterday? You've gotta love that.