No Apology Needed

I have made some interesting observations and have faced some personal truths in the last few days.
I think it finally hit me tonight that really - as Americans - we are not 'liked' very much around the globe, and that includes Canada. We had an unfortunate accident at my place of work tonight - and of course, as these situations warrant - everyone speaks of the incident and will they sue. Someone says ' Well, thank god he wasn't an American because then you know he would sue.' I spoke up this time I said ' What a minute, I'm American and that's not true." This individual said 'Well its what we see on the news I guess.' I can't be angry at them for saying it, - because they were right. How can I fault them for bad information.
I can't tell you how many times I have heard cutting remarks about Americans in the last few months. For awhile, I sat back, stunned frankly, and didn't say anything. But now I do.... I speak up. But, it still leaves me to ponder a few things.

I still don't get the connection between the negativity towards Americans to the never ending drive for people, including a lot of Canadians, who want to live in our country. To me, if you can't speak good about it, then hey, don't come to the country. I don't mean this in a negative way - just matter of fact.
Its OK to not to like America - even if what you think you may know is the truth is not.  I know the truth.
But, the sad reality is, what the media puts out there, the world sees. And frankly, in the world of 'news' (and I use this term lightly) it is more about sensationalism then it is about truth anymore. As a whole, we have done ourselves a lot of damage. Because just like a bad rumor at school - everyone likes to hear the bad stuff, no one commends the good.

I have learned a lot about inner strength in this journey and I think, as I will look back on this experience I will appreciate it, for what it has shown me. However, that doesn't make the cutting comments hurt less and it doesn't take away the childish need to 'one up' somebody. But, it does make me appreciate two things.

One: I will always understand, even to some scales it is still minuscule, prejudice. Because, even though its not pretty - its the truth. Its exactly what I am going through.  I stated before that Canada is far more diverse, and it is. However, prejudice exists here... towards many things, and yes to Americans.  Sad, but true.

Two:  I have a deeper appreciation and love for my country now and I am looking forward to coming home.  I have turned away from politics in the last few years, because frankly, I can't stomach it.  But, I wish for everyone that is out there, that trashes our government and its policies etc. needs to live in another country.
Because, when you do, you realize... we do have our faults, and we have and are making mistakes. But in the end what we have as a country and what we are/have built is amazing!!  All of those immigrants that you see on the news or talk to, who love living in our country. Their joy is true and honest. Because they have lived a very different life. We can throw around a lot of different adjectives and outcry's, but I now get it. They appreciate the gifts they have been offered.

Along those lines, I also wish for those in our country who spend there day bashing one another through politics and religion, that they learn more understanding and less judgement.  As an American - here in Canada - I am the one being bashed and judged and frankly, it sucks. Somehow, when the fathers of our country fought for our freedom, I am sure they did not envision the likes of FOX news and CNN being the voice of America. As the father of any religion, never imagined the judgement placed on others through the use of their names. For this, as Americans, we really should try to change.

So, here's what we do - The Ellis'. We are ourselves and we proudly tell people where we are from. We are taking the time to get to know our temporary home and respect it. We really like the people who have taken the time to get to know us - without judgement. We appreciate the differences between the two countries and will honor those differences. But, in the end, we will always be American, and we will not apologize for that. Not, in an egotistical manner - but in the manner of  respect and pride. Hopefully when we make our journey back to the states there will be someone here - who we have impacted - who will be one less person that will judge Americans, because they took the time, to get to know the people and not the assumption.
If that is the case- then indeed what a great journey this will have been.

You Did What??

What a great day I had yesterday!  Among other things, I had my picture taken. Now, you're sitting there saying 'OK? So what?' Well there is a bigger story here so, let me indulge myself and share it.

I have always been someone who knew inside their own self that there was more to do....more to be. Now, this isn't to say that I have always been in tuned with this, or even for some periods listened or gave a damn. But, there has always been a lingering knowledge that, 'Yes, kiddo there is more.' Hence, the love of my previous blog - Risk. I was deathly afraid to take risks a few years ago... meaning I was in a state where I was working very hard to control things, only to one day realize I truly had ( or really have) no control of life's events. What I decided I needed to do, was to  find a way to a better  'me' in this world.

For those of you who know me - you see now, what I wasn't able to be for many years and that means comfortable in my own skin. I am known for my laugh - for the most part, people love it. It does catch people off guard - because it is a true opening to me. You know I am enjoying something, because I don't hold that back. One of my dearest friends calls me and says ' I gotta hear your laugh....listen to this.'  I am also known for accepting things "as they are". When I am talking to friends and they are going through something I am famous for saying "So, how can you change this? What do you have control over here?"  So, sometimes we have to laugh and accept things as they are - including ourselves.

Now, lets not be mistaken here - I don't live a Yen type of existence. I am still very much a 'Growth in Progress.' One of my biggest growth days - my 40th Birthday. I wasn't sure about turning 40... had been mulling that around a while before the big day. But I woke up on that day, and I KNEW that I was different, would be from now on. Most ladies ( because frankly I have haven't talked to many men about it) know what I mean. All of a sudden, all this crap we carry around no longer matters. We can like how we look, find ways to be our true selves with a sense of 'Take it, Or leave it.' And I cannot tell you enough how truly cool this is. So I have been in this frame for 3 years now and I have been working on this. But, one thing I couldn't quite get over was getting my picture taken. HATEed it!!  Was not a fan. I avoided it. Until yesterday.

I decided a few weeks ago that I was sick of being afraid of this and I started the hunt for a photographer. I found one here is Airdrie - Amber Holt of Amber Holt Photography. I shot her out an email and asked if we could meet - I wanted my picture taken and wanted to meet to see if we fit.  There was no way I was putting this event into the hands of someone I didn't like.  So, we met, and I liked her right away. I was honest, and told her my purpose. This is a rite of passage...she smiled and said many women have come to her with this idea and she was game. 'Outdoor or Indoor' seemed to the biggest question.  I wanted funky, 'artsy' so outside we would go.

Well after prepping myself for a few hours at home - I picked outfits that I liked, did my my hair etc., ...left all pretension at home  and went off to pick up Amber. We ended up in Inglewood - an area around downtown Calgary. Funky, cool buildings with wild colors, and textures. I was her muse and gave her permission to do as she saw fit... we had a great time. I was changing in the back of the car - moving from location to location and following her lead. Now, I have no clue what she saw on the other side of the lens yet - but all I know is that I felt...well for simplicity sake, beautiful and fun. I felt really myself in that moment. It was great. Amber treated this event really as a 'non event.' There was no agenda...no stress. Which I have to High Five her on... because in that, I became comfortable.

I would encourage any of you out there to do this - just for you.  No kids, pets, partners nothing. Just you....its a truly great experience. Its a great way to look at your vulnerabilities and accept a little bit more about yourself.

I am a firm believer in 'No Coincidence.' We are walking through this life of ours with a purpose and we meet who we are supposed to meet, and go through what we are supposed to go through. Good and bad. Its how you take the introduction to these people and events. How we grow.... that matters. I just finished a fantastic book Eat, Love, Pray, by Elizabeth Gilbert. In chapter 108 Elizabeth Gilbert talks about her evolution. She equates it to the Zen aspect of "the oak tree that creates the very acorn that is comes from which is is born." On page 330 she says 'The younger me was the acorn full of potential, but it was the older me, the already -existing oak, who was saying the whole time;"Yes, grow! Change! Evolve! Come and meet me here, where I already exists in wholeness and maturity! I need you to grow into me!'

Now isn't that great that I read that today? After my big adventure yesterday? You've gotta love that.

Risk......

One of my favorite parts about moving to Canada is finding new music!  Country is just one of my genres that I enjoy, but I found this artist here, his name is Paul Brandt. He is a wonderful singer and song writer.  Here's how he ties in - to me.

Keep in mind that anytime you move, there is a time when we you through this sense of things seeming to be 'unreal'. It's weird and very hard to explain. Its like you are driving for this great distance and then you wake up and realize you are somewhere totally different. Things look different, feel different, smell different. For me, this time comes after the 'business' of moving. When the semi has come and gone, the boxes and house are almost set, kids are in school, you found the grocery store etc. You feel foggy in a way.

Well, I was there, in this place, honestly wondering where in the hell I was and why. And then I heard this song - 'Risk' by Paul Brandt. If you are lover of music you will get this-but it was one of those moments that you understood something larger than yourself.
First lines of the song "I'd rather stand on the edge of a cliff, hang my toes over a bit, and the jump when they dared me, even if it scares me and I get hurt. I rather build my wings on the way down, do my best not to fall to the ground......" and the song continues. But, I had a moment - because someone had put into words - me - and this was what I was in the midst of. I had risked a lot to be here - risked a lot of myself.

 Another line....'Oh, but I'd never discover new land, by keeping my feet  on the sand.' I could take this song apart line by line - but here's the net net - it's what this is all about - Risk.  It is scary, full of a lot of uneasiness and stress, but the rewards are, life, and what you get from it and what you take out of it.  Some of us like to hide - because its safer there. Its far easier to close oneself off, I get that, been there. But I have to be honest, I like this place better. Sure, its scarier than I imagined - but man, each day, I'm livin' and I love it! Some tell me - 'This isn't realistic, you can't live this way.' but isn't this exactly what I have done??? So, how can it not be realistic?

However, it is not for the light hearted. You can't take on a journey like this and not take a risk. What's interesting it how it affects your whole life. I may only be here, in Canada, for a short time, but the lessons I am learning are worth a lifetime. I know, now, that I am a risk taker. I like it here - in the risk - because I am living folks! I cry about it, I laugh about it. I get mad about it - I get so frustrated with the remoteness here. I can't fly anywhere under $1000. Or drive to see anyone under 12 hours - so what do I do about that? Well, frankly,there is  nothing I can do. I have to accept it and still go. Because I won't hide here and get lost. I will live the risk and go where it goes. And know that in the end, I really gave it all I had.

 If you are inclined, take a listen to this artist and check out this song. I don't expect it to reach others, like it reaches me, but, maybe one of you will see something about you that you have risked, and you'll get it. http://www.paulbrandt.com/content/music.

Happy 'Risk' taking to those who are good with it. For those of you, perhaps afraid? Just think of me, or someone you know, cheering you on as you build your wings on the way down! Here's a High Five!!  Congratulations......

Why Did You Move Here????

This is the infamous question I am asked almost daily! 'Why would you move here?" I have yet to discover all the nuances to this heavily laden question.  When I get the confidence and am in the right moment, I will ask back, 'Why do you ask me that? What is it that you think I am missing?' I want to hear the answers.  Because it is confusing as the American.  I honestly get the impression that when people get to know me a bit, they are surprised that I am not something they expected. I'm not sure what that expectation is , but I am not sure it is always positive.  

Canadians have a lot going for them. It really is less stressful....the media is vastly different! The news is not a mob fest of doomsday crap. The crime rate here is far different, and frankly they have more to talk about then the daily murder or sensationalized story our cable news junkie selves now crave in the the US. (Now again, keep in mind I am in Alberta - Calgary is far different than Vancouver or Toronto so someones experience there is bound to be different.) The landscape is beautiful, the population is much smaller, they love their hockey, they are diverse, in a positive way. They have a lot going for them.

But I wonder, what they think I am missing?  I know that economics plays a part. Our selection and availability of things in the US is like no other.  There is a bigger sense of freedom in the US, I think. I also think that there is more opportunity, in the US.  Let me explain. 

Freedoms - The government here, of course, is much different. Not better, not worse, just different.  They seem to be much more involved here and work very hard to 'look out' for the people.  Part of me gets a funny feeling about that - here's why.

The consumer/worker safety concerns here are incredible.  California has nothing compared to the Canadians. Everywhere you go and everything you buy comes with warnings. My new little netbook came with an online instruction book that has 10 pages of consumer warnings about its use.  TV - if your program has anything - I mean anything- that can be seen as a negative influence you are warned after every commercial break, before your show starts up again, what you might be risking yourself exposure to. Now, here's the irony of that....... they have some of the most risque commercials here, with no warning labels. 

If you are a smoker, the days of a camel on your pack are long gone. Here, your packs have all the usual medical warnings etc. but in addition to that, you might have a picture of a smokers lung (no, not clip art, I mean an actual picture.) Or better yet, a premature baby hooked up to oxygen. Right on the front of the pack. Crazy stuff.... but.... there are more smokers there, than I have seen in the states in over 10 years. 

Any other product you may buy that could cause you harm, has so many labels and symbols on them that you need a reference sheet to be able to tell how this might hurt you. 

So, I can't help like feeling like I am in a constant state of hand holding here.  Like, as a consumer I must be warned, because I cannot possible make up my own mind, or have personal choice.  Its weird. 

Technology is still working its way to my necessary standards. Its fair to say that in some respects technology here is about 10 years out.  Cell companies are owned by the government here - and are expensive. I truly can't remember the last cell tower I have seen. Which explains to my friends why our calls are peppered with losses and drops. ;)So, with all of these things, I can understand why I am asked this question. 

Opportunity - Schooling here is different. I don't have a good sense of higher education here. It's definitely different and I know Alberta is the victim of the educated moving out of it. But, I don't get a feeling like its a goal for a lot of people here. That college or University, as they call it here, is not an assumption for every High School senior. Its the exception I think.   

I haven't talked to many business people yet, so I will be interested to learn about the 'ways and means' of doing business here in Canada.  I know as an American, it is very hard for me to be entrepreneurial here. If you want a job here as an American, the company hiring you has to prove to the powers that be that there is no other worthy Canadian candidate. ( I will speak more to this as I begin interviewing more. ) Yet, the companies here are struggling to find the kind of candidates they want?????

So much yet to understand in this journey... So, I find the question hard to answer in way, I don't know enough yet to be able to answer it, honestly.  So, keep asking and I'll keep exploring. When I have the answer, I'll let you know. 

Connections

This is a wonderful word...connections. And can mean so much. It can mean what makes something run. It can mean what makes a math equation work. Its the making of a story, its the songwriter sharing. But connections among people, that's where we get a lot of energy from.  In my moving experiences, I have found myself far more open to these connections than a lot of people. I guess, maybe, I have been humbled by losing some of mine through proximity. But, I have found that being open to them, allows you to accept many things.

My son, Michael, has had some great ones.  I call them his stepping stones.
Where: Coors Field, Final game of Championship - Upper deck
Who: No name, just a great young man who shared his high fives, cheers, laughs and yes Bubble Gum, with my son. He included Michael in his experience, which was great to watch. And Michael has never forgotten that. When we left, Michael asked me what his name was... I told him his name didn't matter, it was the time you had and the memory created that matters.   Connection

My previous classrooms and all of my kids.  Its hard to explain this, when you haven't taught. But, each year there is this moment.  A moment after the first few difficult weeks, a moment where you look up as their teacher, they look at you as your kids and, bam..... connection. And it holds you until you are at the end of your 180 days... and years beyond.  Its really where and when the learning of life takes place.

My Hairdressers... OK, here is the key. If you are not connected to your hairdresser, move on. Because they truly can be the key to holding you together. There has to be the moment when she/he looks at you and they get you.... what you want, how you want to look. And they go to work.... but at the same time you connect personally. You learn about them, they learn about you. You laugh, cry....share hurts and joys.  Because of all of the wisdom in may hair, I can be in the chair for a few hours at a time.  But, I love this time. I get to bond with my girl, the women around me, who share many personal details, of their lives, and in the end work on feeling beautiful. It is such a connection, you really can't put a price on it. (Love ya Kelli)

  Theater and Music - Not everyone can experience this unfortunately, but being on stage with like minded talent. A connection beyond words. Its when you are singing, you look out and someone is watching and you have bonded with them, for just that moment. Its the dance or line with a fellow actor, where you share this look of "Oh yes..we got it!" or 'Oh S*!t how are we going to get out of this? And you do.You have to feel the other people around you.... connect. (Miss you PPH gang!)  Its the duet, the choir. Its the partnership between the vocalist and the guitar. Probably one of my favorites, because the instrument moves you, the vocalist forward, yet it can't move forward without you....

The connection within you to people of your past, present and future. I have had some very cool, and sometimes hard lessons here.  In a move, you can become disconnected. Not by choice, but maybe distance, or time.  But, it is interesting to me how you always find your back...to some. When you spend three hours on Skype...laughing with good friends and wine.  Wine Parties at my house, where a bunch of hardworking women can let their hair down for awhile.  Mexico, with friends, rafts, drinks and laughs, 'Bohemian Rhapsody', 'Sweet Child of Mine', etc. ;)  The traveling long distances and simply picking up the conversation from where you left off. These days it can be as simple as a text. But, they all matter.

My point here I think is that you can't really run from them, connections. They bind us together, and really keep us whole if you think about it. They are woven inside of each of us, for whatever reason. So, now I have to open up to new ones. Canadian style. But know, those of you who I have been blessed to connect with, I carry you around with me every day. You are the intricate weaves and pieces of my ever evolving puzzle. Thank you for that.

Its the 'Little' Things... I think (Part 2 Cost of Living)

I felt like the other post was too long, so I broke it up into 2 parts.

Cost of Living: If/When you want to come live here, accept the fact that is will be 20% higher across the board. We are lucky here in Alberta that we do not pay as many taxes as the other provinces, but we do pay our share. For instance everything single thign you buy has GST ( Government Sales Tax). We are lucky, we do not have PST ( Provincial Sales Tax ) as well as 3 -4 other 'ST's" the other provinces have.  Sadly, close to 35% + in taxes is what we dish out per pay. Its still vague because your taxes increase, as you make the money. You move bracket to bracket. There are some here who are paying over 40% in payroll taxes alone. Takes your breath.

Food, clothing, everything is higher. Now, at first, the sticker shock will cause a bit of a sway at the store. My friends hear me talk about chicken... here three chicken breasts avg about 5$ per lb.  One small package is $10. But, beef on the other hand is cheaper.  I pay $4.35 for milk at Costco, but $4.69 at the grocery store. Bread, wheat? Close to $4.  Cereal.. now this will kick you in the butt. Wal Mart - Frosted Flakes. $6.97 no kidding..... Now, this one makes me chuckle... Coors Beer, case (50 cans here) is $75.00, and Ernest and Gallo Wine, I have seen for $30.  For you non-drinkers, this is insane. However.... people buy it by the load, so supply and demand is at work here. I really just laugh when I am at the wine store, thinking of my struggle with corking costs in restaurants in the states

But, in the end you practice strategery ( yes, I know I spelled it wrong, you have to be a Will Farrell fan to get this). You budget, and figure it out. After awhile, you accept it and you pay it. What else can you do?  These are also big banes of frustration for the Canadians. Because, really, no one can tell the people, why its so much more expensive.  Just be prepared to shop in many stores... there are bargains!

All in all, both of these items are a huge lesson in 'It is, what it is...What are you gonna do?'. But, keep in mind, the Canadians are living well. They drive nice, often beautiful cars, they are all shopping, they dress nice and look healthy. So, in the end, its all perspective and paradigm at work. I know things differently, so I can see them differently. Its all in how you choose to adapt.
I find that I can't really complain about it... because I can't change it. (There seems to be a theme there I think.) In the end, I appreciate what I came from as well as what I have now.  Its all a lesson you see..... its how you choose to learn it, and apply it, that matters.

Its the 'Little' Things... I think (Part 1 Health Care)

Today, I think I'll talk about a few key points that are big here in Canada....
Healthcare:  As we know in the states there is much talk about Universal Health Care from both sides of the table. As a visitor here, with no political agenda, I have observed a few things.  First of all, let me be clear, I have been in favor of Universal Health Care in the states for years. I think the socialism rhetoric that is thrown around is, well, simply bogus. Because one just has to do a non-biased history lesson on socialism to see that what our country proposes is not that.  I think my 'in faovr' of this, comes from being a teacher and seeing my kids who are sick, or have other issues, unable to get health care because mom and dad can't get the 'right' job. I also see parents who walk around with health issues that they cannot get treated for the same reasons. So, universal Health care has its good points.
However, I am concerned that our country as a whole is not quite ready for it, and I think from my perspective, here in Canada, they might not have been ready either. But I think there are some lessons to be learned.
( note: this is strictly from the Alberta perspective, because it is different in other provinces.)

Positives: Basically, it is cheaper, for the basics. However, if you want any of the additional. shall we call them bells and whistles, like, oh an ambulance ride to the hospital, you need to buy 'A la Cart' but its still cheaper than what we are paying in the states.  But, a lot of the folks here can't afford that. ( more on that later).  When you go to the doctor, you walk in, have your appt. and walk out. No Co-pays etc.  Chiropractic health, massage therapy etc. are all covered as well. Prescriptions are cheaper too. Insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies do not have nearly the same horrific power they do in the states. Although the Dr. shortage is a concern here, there are many clinics available to you, 24/7. (However, I will admit, the 'Open" sign at the Urgent Care Emergency Clinic is a cause for concern. Lol)
Negatives: We were lucky to get a doctor. We were told that to expect to be a wait list for a personal physician. Some in Calgary are on wait lists that are 7 years out, nope not a typo.( Our Dr. is wonderful and hails from South Africa and chose Canada over the states to practice in, due to our malpractice issues/practices. ) So, we were lucky.  Another disadvantage is everything is compartmentalized. For instance there are no 'One Stop Shops' here. Blood work, you go to the lab. X-Ray? You go to yet another lab. Need a Specialist? Even just a foot doctor for instance, your main Doctor has to refer you, and yes you wait to get an appt.
Surgery... now this is tricky - non emergency procedures are set up by priority, availability, and yes, wait lists. For instance, one day as I was sitting in the great mecca for women, the hairdresser. One older lady was in for a hair set. Well, she was getting ready for hip surgery. Just got the call, after being on the list for many months and was going in the next day for the surgery. And that's how it is... when they call, you grab the time, or back at the bottom of the list you go. 
There is constant controversy over preventative care. Doctors want to offer more, but are held back. There have been doctors that have had to leave the country because they spoke out about this. There is corruption (gasp) in the government, and currently there are many investigations going on with the Gov't of  Alberta Healtcare. There are concerns that some numbers are being 'misrepresented', there are concerns that doctors are 'slienced' through various tactics because they speak out.
Finally, I'm just not sure I would want to have serious health care issues here. I would be concerned about the availability of the services.
Now, this is only my very limited perspective and I find that the folks working in the health care field are great. Hard working, dedicated and often frustrated. I have not had any 'bad' experience with these labs etc. But I find I do miss the personal touches that my Doctor offered me in the states.  So, I have no answers, or amazing fixer uppers.   Just observations.
So, if you move, come prepared. research the town you will live in for doctors. The smaller suburbs seem to be better off than the bigger cities.
Next item covered in Part 2