So, What Will You Do With It?

Loss....isn't this such a small word for such a big event? Loss is a funny thing, and is something we have all experienced. It can be life altering and very difficult. But have you ever looked at it from the 'up' side?
As a teacher, mom, partner and friend I have seen loss come in all forms. From the loss of a favorite pencil to greater losses, like divorce. life, innocence.  But, what I have noticed, the grief that comes from the loss, is the same.  You may laugh at that comparison, but in essence its true. Have you ever seen a child lose that favorite toy? The reactions are the same, perhaps just more honest when they are young. Now, yes, this type of loss is trivial compared to other life losses, but I have learned something in all of this observation, both externally and internally. Its what we do with the loss that matters.
Sure, you can shut off life, run away, throw a temper tantrum even. But in the end, its all still there, and will need to be dealt with. Because when you deal with it, face it, feel it... you grow. And that, my friends is what I think the point is.
I am an individual who has experienced loss from a very young age, from all directions, death, divorce, moves etc. So, I don't approach this subject lightly. However, I figured out, somewhere along the way to accept these losses and move forward. In hind sight though, I realize that for a bit, I suffered the biggest loss, the loss of self.  When I figured this out, I was pissed!! Here I thought I had trudged along famously only to be shot down by my own realizations that I let myself down. What a pisser! lol... but when I came into this realization I also felt a huge lift to self as well.  What a great moment that was.
 Like anything else, when you have these realizations there is a flip side - and that was the paradigm shift. I no longer gave credence to the shitty voice inside my head telling me that I sucked. I yelled at it, to shut up, and over time, its got to a whimper. There are days I go without even hearing the b@#*!^!  But it wasn't easy. There were  major shifts in my life, relationship changes and 'rules' I set up for how I would be treated and treat others etc.  But, I have to say, its a nicer ride.
 I just wish, I could snap my fingers and be able to have this happen for those that I love, but I can't. Its a ride you have to figure out on your own. I am here, in support, no matter where or who you are. But, I can still write about it here, share it when you want to hear it, and simply laugh with you or cry if it helps. So, if you don't mind, I want to send some strength out today.
(in respect for privacy, I use locations, not names. LOL I know.....to obvious )
Oregon - I love you and your strength. You are such a powerhouse and such a strong, strong, lady. There are many, many things you should be proud of. I know you may not always like my tough love, but keep in mind, I had to get you thru the storm. Baby you are at the end. Can you believe it!!! We still will do Vegas I think. When you doubt it, remember where you were a year ago - run with it, its OK to be who you are. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!
Ohio - My gawd how we lave laughed and can you believe its been 21 years! You too, my fierce lady are a force to be reckoned with. You are strong, vivacious and worth every good thing that comes your way. I only wish I got to see you more. Love you.
Colorado, Henderson - You left a huge impression on me and I draw from that often. I see and saw so much strength in you that I began my journey watching you in yours. I love to see your accomplishments and how you are doing well. Miss you (T T too).
Colorado, Main Street - Girl and her partner, you move me to be better. I sat in your chair for years and grew there, even though you couldn't see it always. You made me believe I was pretty again and in turn opened your life to me. I will always cherish that and look forward to sitting in your chair again. I am proud of you and your strength. Partner -I can't even put into words how you influenced me. Thank you for loving her and learning to love yourself along the way. Its been great to be the observer in that growth.
Colorado, Fort Lupton - Now, here is strength. I watched you go through so much and felt along with you. I loved laughing with you and becoming your friend. I miss our talks and need to get back on that. You made it through a few of the biggest losses and I hope you see your strength there.
Colorado - Brighton Haystack - Baby- you deserve medals. I know, you say you are just being a mom, and yes you are. However, you have given life and nurtured that life beyond anyone's expectations. You are beautiful and are loved.
Colorado WindRower - I love you.. I miss you and I so have adored the growth of our friendship. You add strength to me in ways you don't even know. I admire and love you, indubitably.
Colorado - parents of students - Man on Man - I love you ladies. There are three in particular that I miss and adore. Such strong, energetic loving people. Thank you for letting me teach your kids. Isn't it funny that in the end, I learned more from them and you. Miss you and your kids, hugs to all. (PS We made the burritos, LOVE them!)
BECS sisters!  I love all of you! Thanks for the wine and and the laughs. We shared so much and I miss that. I do hope that all of you have found your strength and wings and are doing well. Mexico anyone?
OK -Thank you for the self indulgence there. But, in this group of fine, strong women, there has been loss. Loss that would cripple the normal bloke. But, not this group! They drove through it, rebuilt it, loved through it, stayed with themselves through it, and turned around and offered their strength to me. I will be forever grateful and hope that I can return it back to you some day.
So, loss, does it suck, absolutely. But does it mean the end? It doesn't have to. Its all is what you do with it.









'

Hero's Walk on Iron Beams and Wear Hard Hats

I am always deeply moved on the anniversary of 9/11. I always take the time to listen and grieve on this day for all of the people and principals that were lost that day. This year was no different, except it being the 10 year anniversary. There was some great news coverage and wonderful stories to see. But, I found myself also celebrating on this day. Why? It had to do with a wonderful documentary on the Discovery Channel entitled
"Rising: Rebuilding  Ground Zero."          http://dsc.discovery.com/tv/the-rising/
If you ever get a chance to watch this, please do. It has  multiple segments and really is a great telling of how this place of horror is being rebuilt to reflect the past and the present hope.  I learned about a lot of unique people, that have been working for 10 years to make this site what is it today and will be in the future.  There was so much thought, attention and sensitivity in all of the decisions. From the type of cement used to the details inside the museum.
Did you know:
......That the fountains are placed at the footprints of where the original twin towers stood. That they are the largest fountains in America and that the head plumber, Jimmy Walsh,  who worked on the site from day one, lost his mother in the towers? But, he wanted to honor her, and gave his expertise to this project. He mourned and honors her there.
.....There is a single pear tree that survived the initial explosion and was found days later in the rubble. It was named 'The Survivor Tree.' That one man, Ron Vega, spent the last 10 years nurturing that tree and helping it grow so that it could come back to the plaza? Its there, part of the new park, and its growing and thriving.
.....That the iron workers who are work the balance beams in the sky continue their family tradition by taking the trade that their dad's did? You may ask why this is significant? Well, their dad's helped build the first World Trade Centers, and they wanted to give back.
......That each of the names of the lost are engraved on beautiful bronze plaques that surround the fountains. And that the Architect, Michael Arad, spent a year plus making sure that the names were connected? See the family members could submit requests and ask that their loved one be placed by certain names of friends and co-workers. And Mr. Arad and fellow associates worked diligently to make this happen, with over 3000 names.
......That Lee Lelpi  lost his son in this tragedy, created a memorial across the street and was a catalyst in making this project happen. He has been at this site for 10 years.
.......Each worker goes to work on this site, knowing that they are creating history. That they are the beacons on hope, per say, of  New York. Like one of them said, 'We are making something now! We are creating something for everyone to believe in again.'
......That there were some wonderful truck drivers who carried glass from Seattle, The Tridents from original Twin Towers, the Survivor Tree into New York City, late at night and became part of history themselves, because they brought the history to the site.
......The workers on the new World Trade Center worked diligently to make a floor a day so that the building could rise up to 1000 ft. for the anniversary? Crazy, Crazy stuff when you see how this building is being built.

I could go on and on. Yes, there was tremendous sadness on this day and yes, it changed just about everything. But these men and women who have been giving their time and expertise to this project have done so with honor. Some of them were there, searching through the rubble, for weeks. Now, they work there, creating and rebuilding. They seem like hero's to me, creating a place of life, out of so much death.

As we all know, hero's come in all shapes and sizes. And today, mine wear hard hats, with tool belts. They swing/walk on beams a 1000 ft up. The work the cement, they carry plans, they create the largest fountains, they nurture and care for the artifacts that belong in the museum. They engrave names and personally treat each name with respect. They live and love in that neighborhood, when they could have moved. And, they water trees, all to make a place of hope. Now, if that isn't a hero, I am not sure what is.

Poolside Chat

As you know, I spent last week on a cruise and had a great time. If you haven't been on one before you need to have a 'Picture Set'.  Pool decks are long and have many comfortable places for sitting along the pool. Some in the sun, some in the shade. You can get to the pool on either side of the ship and it typically sits on the top deck. Well, you can get some great people watching in on any day.
So, I watched one day..... And the biggest question I had was why did it seem that a lot of the people, mainly women were so insecure with their bodies that they seemed, well, like they wanted to hide it all.  Here's what I mean. Have you ever watched a woman at a pool pull and tug on her suit? Pulls it down here, up there etc. You begin to wonder why she bought the thing if she felt so icky in it. Then the person, who quietly looks around to see that no one is looking before they take the cover up off? Or the woman who kind of seems to shrink when she gets up to walk to the water? Like, "Please don't notice me!" I found myself feeling a bit sad... and seeing how unkind we really are to ourselves body image wise; I can only imagine the self talk going on.
As a whole, we are not kind to ourselves and women especially are very hard on themselves. We are critical and very mean to the' me', and we say horrible things to the mirror, and I really wish we could find a way to stop.  I watched women of all sizes and shapes and ages walk around the pools, and more than once I wanted to tell them how great they looked!
But, what I really, really loved was the fuller figured women out there and proud. They had on some stunning suits and showed off the goods and, frankly, it was awesome.  They had men with them, that loved and doted on them, and for the moments I saw them, they were loved and appreciated. That was such a great moment, because they put it out there - here I am, beautiful and happy, and I am not a size '0'! What great empowerment that brought. I know the courage that takes, and I loved it.
So, I randomly toasted my beer to them all! I loved to see them happy, having fun, soaking up the sun and getting the gentle, occasional touch from their partner. I also sent a silent toast to those that don't feel so great in their self. Hoping that someday, they wake up and start doing it for themselves and not for others.
See, I found 40 very liberating and decided that I was going to embrace it all. The looks to come, the looks I had now, and hope for the best. I like feeling sexy, classy and great when I dress! I find if I dress for myself, I feel great. So for you, if that means a one piece, or a bikini, then you go for it! Don't hide it! Because, take a look around, those 'sizes' you may be admiring, they too have a lot of insecurities that they are hiding. Size does not equal happiness.... its the "me" in you that creates the happiness.
So, friends, raise the glass of your beverage choice and toast yourself and begin the journey of accepting the you, that you are. You can tweak, improve, strengthen etc. but until you believe it in your head, and heart, how you look on the outside won't matter. You need to believe in your "me"! Go for it!  I'd love to meet you by the pool someday! Come, sit, have a beer with me, I'd love to hear all about it. 

Crusin' and Such

Well!! I am back from my cruise journey with lots to write - but today I'll stick to trip and those details. The family took a cruise aboard the 'Norwegian Spirit' that departs from New Orleans. We had a wonderful trip with a few added adventures.  Tropical Storm Lea added a few days to the trip, but I can think of worse things. :)
Let's break the trip down...
Norwegian Cruise Lines has some great things going for them! One of the best being the freestyle cruising! I loved that. You could go a to nice dinner in shorts and feel right at home. You could wander the ship and see people everywhere just enjoying themselves. The staff is great and did a very commendable job of managing 2000+ cruisers on an extra two days at sea. The food was pretty good and always available. The ship - The Spirit, was very nice. Although not the newest with all the latest bells and whistles it was still a great place to spend 7 ( oh, I mean 9) days.  If you haven't cruised before - GO! Its a blast a can add a lot of great life experiences that you can' t get anywhere else.
Places we visited:
Costa Maya - a nice, man made port that was a nice stop. We did not do much here, because we wanted to relax this day, but a brief shop. The people were gracious and kind.
Roatan, Honduras - You MUST go here! It is a lovely, developing place that has yet to be spoiled by commercialism. They are new to the tourist trade, only 4 years old, and the bend over backwards to be gracious and kind. The beach here was my favorite. The water warm and beautiful! The people are beautiful and really want you to be there. The island is as close to a Rain Forest that I have gotten and its gorgeous!  It does have its poverty and they don't hide it, but that's OK. Its good to see the world and all the faces it offers. Some may says its not polished and very fancy, but that's what I liked about it.
Belize - We went snorkeling on the Barrier Reef and it was wonderful. Some of the best coral I have ever seen! And the fish were gorgeous. This is trickier snorkeling because there is no where to put your feet down. You float in 15 - 20 feet of water. Beautiful, and the people here are as well.  They are kind and very helpful. Had my first run in with a jelly fish at the beach we later went to. Considering we think my sting came from a floating tentacle, here's kudos to those who have had a full on sting. Because - people, that hurt!!! Secret - use vinegar, takes a lot of the burn out. My arm was fine a few hours later, but not fun. (I was told by my 12 yr old that ' You took it like a man mom, I am proud of you' ) But, hey - when you swim in the ocean, you risk it right? I am proud to say I was right back in the next day!
Cozumel - Lovely place as well. We did an Excursion with 'Explora Caribe' tours and it rocked. We toured the island by jeep. Snorkeled, ate, saw some ruins, swam and drove the shoreline. Very cool stuff!!! Santiago and Alejandro were wonderful!!
Days at Sea - these were great as well. The last two however lacked sunshine due to the storm, but it was still fun!! We still danced, had some beers and enjoyed ourselves. NCL really should give themselves a pat on the back. They pulled two extra days out of the hat - which is not easy. Especially if you have cranky people, angry because they can't get home. the only issue here was that calling out was nearly impossible and needs to be improved. Also, lets stop charging for WiFi people- its the way of the world and having to pay by the minute is amazingly stupid. I will say that you could get free WiFi only on Deck 8 and at the Internet cafe, which NCL gave us due to the storm.
Finally - New Orleans!!!! Oh My - this place might have been my favorite really.  We were able to spend one evening before the cruise walking Bourbon Street. This is not for the weak of heart or conservative natured folks. It is a huge party, with eccentric people havin' a great time. Beads and beer are the ingredients and its a blast! Now, we also got to tour the French Quarter on Tuesday. The weather was perfect, the people were great and the food was outstanding. The history and the stories here are endless and require more time. The music is like non other and to think I was walking the streets that some of the best jazz and blues artists have walked was humbling, to say the least.  The service was great. the buildings fabulous and so worth a visit. If you have ever thought, I might like to go there - Go! Its one of a kind. I will be going back, for longer next time.
To sum up my friends, travel, go see the world. It offers so many more pages to view and think about. You see and talk to people with rich histories that you won't find in any book.  It adds so much color. I met some great people! Young and old, single, dating and married - all colors, shapes and sizes.  It was a wonderful journey. Go out, see the world, go somewhere. Explore those places that fascinate you. Add to your life, you will not regret it. The key - be open and flexible to meet and have happen anything. Its far more enjoyable than the closed in places some still live in. ( I have a few stories to share!)
Now, go book that trip.
More to come later........